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Maria Guerin

August 2015

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maria_guerin: (Blue Lights)
Sunday, August 30th, 2015 01:34 pm
There are people that will tell you that if you don't experience pain then you aren't living your life to the fullest. These same people will lecture you about how you should be living your life. They will tell you all about life and pain and how the two are unavoidably intertwined.

I think these people are full of crap.

They don't like how their own lives turned out so they want to discourage everyone around them. They want everyone to be just as miserable as they are.

My mom taught me that a very long time ago.

I think that it's true that you can expect some pain to happen in your life. If you get lucky enough not to, that doesn't mean anything is wrong with the way you are living.

Pain has been a very real part of my life, but I like to think that I am the exception and not the rule. Not many people have or will ever see the things that I have seen. Fewer still have lived the things that I have lived through. I wouldn't want anyone to have to live through the things that my friends and I have in the last few years. No one deserves that kind of pain.

Well, I would have wished it on Tess, but were were all out-voted on that one. Of course, then she went out as a semi-heroine by blowing up herself and an entire military base to save her son. Liz may believe it, but I have my doubts on Tess' actual reasons for that one.


We're currently in a motel where we're supposed to be sleeping and resting up for more travel tomorrow. Everyone else is sleeping, but I'm awake pondering the marriage of life and pain. Not exactly a topic that is conducive to sweet dreams.

The bottom line in my mind is that life and pain to not have to be all inclusive. Life isn't about measuring the pain you have endured, but in celebrating the living you have done.

That's my belief, anyway.

Muse: Maria DeLuca Guerin
Fandom: Roswell
Canon: Yes, Post Canon
Words: 347
maria_guerin: (M&M)
Friday, August 21st, 2015 11:16 am
It's probably not the safest thing in the world for Liz and I to keep diaries right now, but we still do. We're careful about what things we write down and leave records of, of course, but I think it helps us both adapt to the changes we've made in our lives. The changes we have willingly made. The changes we don't regret for anything. Michael never says anything about the danger, but every time it looks like I'm getting to the end of the pages in my current diary, he always manages to find me a new one.

The notebooks are smaller than your average school required notebooks, but they're perfect for me because it's Michael who gets them for me. They're varying sizes depending on what he finds, but they always come from his heart because he knows that having one is important to me. It's Michael who hides the fulls ones for me where they can't be found so I'm not forced to automatically destroy them when they're full. Because one day, one day it will be safe to show them to my mom and answer all of her questions.

I know Michael also gets them for me because he keeps one that I write down my songs in when I get inspired. That one stays with him at all times and it's the sweetest thing someone has ever done for me.

The diaries and my song-writing notebook are just some of the reasons that I don't get hung up on hearing those three words from Michael all of the time. He shows me in a hundred thousand other ways that he loves me and that I'm important to him. With Michael, it really is more about showing me than telling me.

His actions are usually far more powerful than his words.

Muse: Maria DeLuca Guerin
Fandom: Roswell
Canon: Yes, Post Canon
Words: 305